When The Hills originally debuted, I was totally Team LC. I loved her, thought she was gorgeous, and was convinced that one day, we’d be real friends. Not TV friends, but the kind of friend she’d call when she was sick of all those cameras in her face. You know, the kind of friend to whom she would just give $10,000, no strings attached.
But over the years, my love for LC has waned dramatically - like so many Dow points, her positive qualities have been falling away rapidly one by one. Her unrealistic expectations of her friends, her inability to find the middle ground for the sake of her relationships (she lays down an ultimatum every 15 seconds), her flippant and shallow treatment of the men in her life, and her moustache…the list goes on and on. Gradually, my admiration has shifted from LC to a beautiful, radiant young woman named Whitney Port. Whitney is adorable - and ever since she wiped out modeling Hilary Swank’s Academy Awards dress for Good Morning America - I’ve liked her doe-eyed goofy nature, and how she seems to have no idea how incredibly beautiful she is.
That’s why today, when MTV made its official announcement about Whitney’s new spin off reality show set in New York, called The City, I got worried.
The show will follow her as she pursues her career in fashion under the wise visage of Diane von Furstenberg. Sounds utterly fantastic, doesn’t it? But immediately, I am reminded of the dangers of having one’s own reality show. Whitney will now be the center of a script that will attempt to tear her life apart: friends betraying friends, boys behaving badly, getting in trouble at work, talking like a robot, and spooging her soul all over the city streets - i.e., becoming Lauren Conrad.
Here’s what Whitney can do to avoid doing just that:
1. Don’t Star In Your Own Reality Show.
I actually started out thinking I could write an entire list of advice, but realized that everything just boiled down to that one simple statement. Of course, it is obviously too late for Whitney to listen to it. And I ain’t gonna lie - I’m going to the watch the sh*t out of her show. I just hope that she can remain true to the character she played on The Hills, and not go psycho on us all.
In the meantime, I’d like to give myself a piece of advice:
1. Don’t kill yourself after reading what you just wrote.
never before has anyone captured my feelings towards the hills so eloquently. i watch the show just so i can hate on lc while simultaneously falling more and more in love with whitney.
now if you’ll excuse me, i need to get back to work so i can refrain from killing myself after reading what i just wrote.